Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our
best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice and/or
Christmas and/or Hanukkah and/or Humanlight holiday, practiced within the most
enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular
practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions
and/or traditions of others, or their choice to practice religious or secular
traditions at all.
Oh what the heck, merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, joyful Solstice, and peaceful Humanlight; may you have a meaningful holiday.
Oh what the heck, merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, joyful Solstice, and peaceful Humanlight; may you have a meaningful holiday.
During Loss
But how can we possibly have a meaningful holiday with all
the chaos, black Friday and Cyber Monday sales, multiple and perplexing
traditions, the controversy over red Starbucks cups, multiple seemingly
mandatory family gatherings, buying presents, setting up decorations? And we miss our loved ones who are far away,
or who are no longer with us, particularly those who have recently died.
Expectations
And maybe we have too high expectations of having a
wonderful holiday, and those expectations are not met. Some of us feel hammered by the unrelenting
commercialism of the season. And those
of us who don’t celebrate this season at all feel trapped and assaulted by all
the noise and lights and ceaseless ho-ho-hoing.
There is no escape from it.
No wonder many people get depressed over the holidays. Yet this chaotic time of year is “supposed to
be” a time of celebration: the winter solstice, burning the Yule Log, the New
Year, the birth of the Christ Child, the Maccabees winning freedom for Judah,
remembrance of the history and roots of Humanism.
Meaningless Ritual
This reading from the Old Testament book of Amos speaks to
the meaningless ritual.
This prophet was speaking to the Hebrew people who were not
living righteous lives, not living lives that were moral and ethical—while
practicing their religious rituals. Amos
and the other eighth century prophets were clear; don’t just do rote ritual, empty
ritual, meaningless ritual; live a moral, ethical, spiritual life and let
ritual be an outgrowth of your life.
Celebration
for the Sake of Celebration
Do we do that today? Historically,
some of the seasonal celebrations seemed a little less than meaningful. In the England of 1066, celebrations at
Christmas got out of hand. King Henry
the 8th and his court tried to outdo each other in outrageous abundance. It is said he had 600 oxen killed and
prepared for a single feast. And
gambling on the altars of the church were a common part of the
festivities. Perhaps we can see from the
extremism where celebrating for the sake of celebrating can go—we don’t do that
today. Or do we?
Fighting to buy the newest best gift on the market at Best
Buy or Walmart on Black Friday, results in little time to gather with loved
ones and give thanks. I do have to admit
to partaking in this Black Friday ritual in years past. I rationalized that I was able to give more
gifts by saving more money on each gift.
But the reality was I was caught up in the high, the buzz,
the addiction to the chaos and consumerism.
I have come to understand my addiction.
I understand now that there is no meaning in consumption for
consumption’s sake. I have let go of
this meaningless ritual.
What traditions, if any, are
meaningful?
However, inside each of us, whether instinctive or not, is a
desire to light up the night, to celebrate with yule logs and candle lit
feasts, when the darkness lasts so long.
As the poem ‘Miracle of Light’ suggests “though the gloom may crowd us
still, the light may lift our hearts.”
We Unitarian Universalists often find ourselves wondering what exactly
we’re supposed to celebrate, how are we and why are we lighting up the
night? How do we discern which, if any,
traditions we find personally meaningful.
I believe most of us don’t want to celebrate meaningless festivals.
What traditions, if any, are
meaningful?
However, inside each of us, whether instinctive or not, is a
desire to light up the night, to celebrate with yule logs and candle lit
feasts, when the darkness lasts so long.
As the poem ‘Miracle of Light’ suggests “though the gloom may crowd us
still, the light may lift our hearts.”
We Unitarian Universalists often find ourselves wondering what exactly
we’re supposed to celebrate, how are we and why are we lighting up the
night? How do we discern which, if any,
traditions we find personally meaningful.
I believe most of us don’t want to celebrate meaningless festivals.
We might start to discern what to do during this season by
asking: Am I doing this (whatever “this ritual, tradition, or feast” is) out of
habit? Or as an authentic part of my
spiritual or non-spiritual seasonal expression?
Reflect on this time of year: what makes it meaningful to you?
Perhaps certain decorations, stories about Santa Claus, music, gatherings,
religious stories, childhood memories.
Or maybe this time of year has lost all meaning for you. And you might be okay with that, and that’s
fine. But if you find yourself wishing
you could find more meaning than the Early Bird Sales might offer you, you
might consider some meaningful ritual.
Meaningful
Ritual
A ritual is a set of
sequential actions or a ceremony, religious or not, that is supposed to offer
an opportunity to make mental and spiritual space to experience something
meaningful, whatever that intangible “something” may be. We don’t have many specifically Unitarian
Universalist rituals
—other than lighting our chalice. Rituals can give us the opportunity to go a
little deeper, learn a little more, and grow in heart and spirit, if we accept
their invitation to do so.
A Time to Share Our Love
Why are rituals important to humans? I can tell you these traditions were
important to my children. They made sure
that each year we followed these traditions to the letter, even reading the
story from Luke, which they pretty much only tolerated.
Being a psychotherapist, I know that routine helps children
feel safe and secure. They can feel
trust in their parents, and in their world.
And while small children may not be able to understand the abstract
concepts of sacred, spirit, holy, or even understand the meaning of the ritual
and traditions this time of year, they see their parents practicing their
faith, and they participate in traditions that are given importance by their
parents.
Our children understand what faith, belief, and values are
by seeing their parents live their faith, beliefs, and values. And they, in turn, do the same in their time,
and so the generations go forward.
Lots of people have told me Christmas is just for
children. At the very least there is a
child inside of many of us who wants to participate in the traditions and
celebrations this time of year. But
also, the rituals and celebrations we choose to participate in this time of the
year are important external expressions of our faith, beliefs, and values. We share our love for our family, friends and
church community this time of year. We
express traditions that have meaning to us.
To
Experience the Meaningful
Perhaps you think, “I don’t believe in Santa Claus or
Jesus. I don’t care about Maccabees or
famous Humanists. I don’t want to burn a
yule log, or join in a Solstice celebration.
And I don’t like giving gifts, decorating my house, or singing Christmas
carols. I don’t have any children. I am not going to celebrate or participate in
any rituals this time of year.” Bah,
Humbug!
I encourage you to stop, and take time to reflect on the
meaning of this time of year for yourself before you decide not to do
anything. Consider what connects you
with your faith, beliefs, and values.
Perhaps there is a way to affirm, remember, promote your faith, beliefs
or
values during this season.
Recently, I consider
the meaning of the gifts that I give. I
intentionally buy gifts that are locally made or gifts that support far-away oppressed groups, Fair
Trade items made by individual crafters, usually women. A couple of years ago I gave my mother a herd
of geese. When she opened the card
saying that I had bought a herd of geese for her, she was not sure what to make
of it. But then I told her it was from
Heifer international and the geese would be given to a group of people
somewhere in the world who could use them to be more self-sufficient. Well, she got it and appreciated the meaning
of the gift.
This year I am giving all my nieces and nephews water bottle
holders made by the Guatemalan artisans from A Thread of Hope, supporting their
fund for scholarships for young Maya and helping to fund ergonomic chairs for
backstrap loom weavers. It’s a way I can
honor and express my Humanist values while participating in the Christmas
Ritual of gift-giving, and doing this opens opportunities for conversations
about income inequality and fair trade economics.
What calls to you from your deepest self this time of year
that wants expression?
Look within for what you remember, celebrate, for why and
how you decorate, what you participate in, what you teach your children about
this time of year. I would suggest that
filling this time of year with people you love is not a bad idea for
anybody. But you are the one who has to
make the decisions about what rituals and traditions are important to you, your
family, friends, and church; especially in our Unitarian Universalist Church
for we celebrate what you as a community want to celebrate. This year we have a Hanukah meal, two
Christmas Eve services, two Solstice celebrations and a Humanlight
gathering.
Reflect on Your Spiritual Practice
The best way to search for what is “right” for you this time
of year is through silent reflection, prayer or meditation. While in that time of silence, ask yourself
not only what traditions feel right for you, also ask “What traditions from my
childhood, my faith, beliefs, and values are important or meaningful to
me?”
Ask yourself “Why are they important or meaningful?” You
might also ask “Am I willing to put in the time and effort needed for this to
truly be an individual, family or church tradition? Something that I will carry forward for years
to come.”
These seasonal rituals are spiritual practices. A lot of people keep meaning to get around to
a spiritual practice, but never find the time, energy or resources. Find a tradition that you can put into
practice, one that is meaningful to you.
And perhaps even more important, take the bold step of dropping a
holiday practice that isn’t feeding you, no longer brings you joy, and then use
the time and energy you used to spend on that to create a moment of silence in
the seasonal chaos or create a spirit space to reflect on the meaning of the
season for you, or create a heart space for yourself to affirm the love you
have for those you share this life with.
Just give yourself the gift of time during this season; this can be the
beginning of a deeply meaningful spiritual practice.
Turn inward in the spirit of meditation:
Remember those times over the years that we spent with our
loved ones during holiday seasons past,
As we reflect, let us explore our hearts and souls, to help
us find the significance that speaks to us about this time of year.
And let us find ways in the present, in this holiday season,
to let our spirits and values show. Let
them show, let them show, let them show.
Amen, Blessed Be, Shalom, Rev. Tom
