Sunday, March 29, 2020

“Whose Question Might Be Your Gift” by Reverend Tom Capo preached on 3/29/2020


I had an experience about 10 years ago, while serving Peoples Church Unitarian Universalist in Cedar Rapids.  Tensions were high between the Jewish and the Islamic communities due to what was going on in the Middle East.  These communities had family and friends who had been wounded or were in imminent danger due to the fighting in Israel.   The local Rabbi defended the right of the people of Israel to protect themselves against the bombings of innocents, and one of the local Imams compared Israelis’ persecution of the Palestinians along the West Bank to the Holocaust. You can imagine how well that went over. They took this dialogue to Facebook, and predictably, the tension between the two groups escalated.  A number of faith leaders in Cedar Rapids, of which I was one, decided to hold a Peace service on neutral ground, Peoples Church.  Both the Imam and the Rabbi were invited and attended.  They consciously put aside their reactive and inflammatory words.  During the service, the Rabbi asked the Iman if he could pray for the Palestinian children along the West Bank.  The Imam said ‘yes’.  And then the Rabbi offered a beautiful, elegant, and loving prayer for the Palestinian children along the West Bank.  The Iman stood up, thanked the Rabbi for his words, they shook hands, there were tears between them, and then the Imam prayed for peace for all the people who live in Israel.  I was reminded of something Mother Teresa wrote: “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”  During the service, the Rabbi and the Imam and their communities remembered that they all had been in right relationship with each other and had been close for many, many years, supporting each other, caring for each other.  The question that the Rabbi had asked, the question about praying for the Palestinian children along the West Bank, was a gift, an answer to all that was being asked, however inarticulately, within our multicultural community.

            I want to share with you a poem, “The Gift” by Denise Levertov that touched me and inspired me as I wrote today’s service:

Just when you seem to yourself

nothing but a flimsy web

of questions, you are given

the questions of others to hold

in the emptiness of your hands,

songbird eggs that can still hatch

if you keep them warm,

butterflies opening and closing themselves

in your cupped palms, trusting you not to injure

their scintillant fur, their dust.

You are given the questions of others

as if they were answers

to all you ask. Yes, perhaps

this gift is your answer.

Early in my adult life I was not on the receiving end of the questions of others, at least the questions that I experienced as transformative, that led to change within me.  As a psychotherapist, I was the one asking the questions, holding space for others as they searched for the answers within themselves that might lead to healing, hope, a path forward in their life. 

“What brings you here today?”  “What is the problem from your viewpoint?” “How does this problem typically make you feel?”  “If you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life?”  Outwardly directed, simple questions.  Asked by me of someone in need, in despair, in desperation, in fear, or even anger.  Questions that might offer a light, a way forward, even a gift.  Sometimes a person just needed a question, almost any question, to begin to move beyond the problem they were experiencing. 

This week we, myself and other members of this congregation, asked many of you simple questions: “How are you?” “Are your needs being met?” “Are you staying connected with others?”  And while many of you affirmed that you were doing well, in the asking of those questions you were gifted with a knowing; this community is still in your life and still cares about you.  A surprising, or perhaps not so surprising, trend developed as our calls multiplied over the last week: some of you offered to help others in this congregation, and some of you reported being in the process of helping others, within and outside this congregation.  It became evident you were also asking questions of yourselves and others.  In the gift of the questions we asked you--that we are still and care about one another-- each of us received an affirmation, something we already knew intellectually, but perhaps not recently felt in our hearts, this building is just that, a building.  We, all of us, are the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Miami, whether we’re sitting side by side in this building or seeing each other screen to screen in our homes.  Wherever we are, however we’re connected, we are a beloved community.

Chances are we have all asked ourselves questions as we go through our days—and being who we are, perhaps we ask ourselves rather more questions than others might.  Unitarian Universalists do love to ask questions.  We ask the mundane questions like: “Will I be able to fit this or that into my busy schedule?”, “How will I make time for dinner before the kid’s soccer practice?” “Why can’t the barista get my coffee order right?”  And the more meaningful and purpose driven questions: “Will the government move immigrant children back to the facility in Homestead?”  “How can I help returning citizen get registered to vote?”  “How can I be a Buddhist, Humanist, Panentheist, and a Unitarian Universalist all at the same time?”

But then, two weeks ago, everything changed.  And when everything changes, so do our questions.  Some of us suddenly have so much extra time gaping before us, most of us are restricted to our homes, I wonder how our questions have changed.  Do they still offer us a way forward?  Or a light?  Can any of what we’re going through now possibly be construed as a gift?  And I don’t mean the Trojan Horse variety.  I mean, what gifts, what insights, what revelations about ourselves and our congregational community and our world are being revealed during our time away from each other?

At the beginning of our church year, I remember asking the religious exploration teachers to come forward for a ritual blessing from the congregation--which included blessing the hands of the teachers with water, something many of them probably had never experienced before.  In asking them to come forward, and in asking you as the congregation to bless their work, some gifts were offered: appreciation, support, and love.    The circumstances are now different, but that appreciation, support, and love we have for one another?  That hasn’t changed.

When I joined this congregation, I asked many of our members some questions.  Which of our Unitarian Universalist Principles—inherent worth and dignity of every person, acceptance of one another and encouraging spiritual growth in each other, affirming the interdependent web of all existence, compassion, justice, equity in human relations, searching for truth and meaning, the right of conscience and the use of the democratic process, and promoting a just, equitable and peaceful world community—which of these Principles touches you most deeply? Which of the Unitarian Universalist Sources fills your spirit so that you can cope with the chaotic world we live in—personal experience of mystery and wonder, wisdom from any of the world religions, wisdom from other people, or from Humanism, or from earth-centered traditions? What social justice issues most quicken your heart?  How does being a member of this church impact your daily life?  What was your most moving moment here at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Miami?  What do you hope to see in this congregation in 5 years?  What would a Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Miami superhero be like?  This last question got a variety of answers, and I learned about your real-life superhero forebears, and of those superheroes that have kept this congregation alive over the past few years.  While each of you offered different answers to these questions, what I observed and heard from many of you, is that being asked these questions, seemed to answer some of the questions you had about my ministry to this congregation and what our future might be like.  I wonder if I were to ask those questions of you today, would your answers be different.  Would there be different gifts in those questions?

Questions being an answer; answers being a question.  I want to explore this from one more angle for just a moment.  I took a course a number of years ago on Spiritual Direction.  Uh, what is Spiritual Direction?  “Spiritual direction cultivates attentiveness, specifically the ability to notice [the stirring of the spirit] in one’s life and in the world.  Spiritual direction, typically, is [relationship-based]...[person to person or person to group] A commitment to spiritual direction reflects a conscientious commitment to tend one’s relationship with [spirit], to listen deeply to one’s life, to explore gently the uncharted terrain of one’s spiritual landscape, and tenderly cultivate one’s vocation … Spiritual direction awakens the [person to] ‘the full range of the human heart, mind, soul, and strength.’ … [orienting the person to live] more purposely and more fully into [their] vocation and to intentionally shape their lives into a more generous response to [spirit and to life]” (Kay Northcutt, Spiritual Director).  Since the course I have been leading Spiritual Direction groups, though I haven’t started any here. When a person wonders if they would benefit from a Spiritual Direction group I ask: “Have you found that your description of the spiritual, or the sacred, or what it means to be human is no longer sufficient?” “Would you like to find comfort in the questions rather than always needing an answer?” “Have you lost your footing and sense that there is an invitation there?”  Many of the people I ask these questions of find a desire to dig deeper into these and other questions, to dig deeper into themselves; to seek within themselves something about who they are and who they want to be.  Questions can be like that.  An invitation to go deeper within.  The question becomes the answer and the question is a gift. 

            We are all stuck in our homes with no definite end in sight.  Perhaps this is a good time for some new kinds of questions.  Questions about the feelings we are experiencing and questions about the particular thoughts that now have so much extra time to race through our minds.  Unanswered questions can result in anxiety, fear, sadness, but they don’t have to.  They can be doorways into parts of ourselves, into places we haven’t explored before because frankly we didn’t have the time or make the time to do so before now.  Questions can create connections between us that didn’t exist before.  There is hope in questions—if we open our heart and mind to them and to it.  There is energy in questions—if we engage with them and commit to channeling it positively.  There is love in questions—when offered in the spirit of respect and kindness and when we answer “yes” to love. 

Just when you seem to yourself

nothing but a flimsy web

of questions, you are given

the questions of others to hold

in the emptiness of your hands,

songbird eggs that can still hatch

if you keep them warm,

butterflies opening and closing themselves

in your cupped palms, trusting you not to injure

their scintillant fur, their dust.

You are given the questions of others

as if they were answers

to all you ask. Yes, perhaps

this gift is your answer.

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