Rabbi Adin
Steinsaltz writes in Parabola
magazine, “When you speak about faith, what do you really speak about? Is faith
an emotion? If so, what kind of emotion? Is it a state of mind? Or is it just a
matter-of-fact? ‘Here I am and I believe
in something.’ In Through the Looking
Glass, the Red Queen says to Alice, ‘Why I’ve believed in six impossible
things before breakfast.’ So is faith believing in impossible things? ... There
are people of different religions; each of them has faith. How do I treat the
faith of somebody else? … Is faith something concocted with something I cannot
prove? Are faith and trust the same? I have never been to Mt. Everest, yet I
still believe it is the tallest mountain on Earth. Is that faith? And if it is
faith, can it be compared to the belief in God, and devils, and angels?”
(Parabola, Spring 2007)
It’s hard to wrap
our minds around faith, so let’s settle one definition, at least for this
moment, before we consider ‘are there stages of faith?’ James Fowler, author of
Stages of Faith, defines faith as: “a
person’s or group’s way of moving into the force field of life. It is our way
of finding coherence in and giving meaning to the multiple forces and
relationships that make up our lives. Faith is a person’s way of seeing him-or-herself
in relation to others against a background of shared meaning and purpose.” What do you have faith in? What do you hold
as true that gives life coherence and meaning? How do you see yourself in
relation to others in this world?
Individually, our
faith may be based on in a specific set of beliefs, which might include a
belief in God, Goddess, Gods, humanity, or mystery beyond understanding. Our
faith may be based on a specific spiritual text, words of prophetic women or
men, direct experiences, a specific religious tradition, humanistic teachings,
or earth-centered traditions. Our faith may find expression in specific rituals
or practices—meditation, prayer, dancing, movement, or chanting. Our faith
gives us direction, helps us find meaning and purpose, and/or connects us with
something larger than ourselves. Our faith helps us to understand ourselves
better/deeper, understand others better/more, gives life some coherence. At
least that is what we hope for, what we work toward, what we rely on.
So if we have
faith, what are these stages of faith? Fowler’s theory posits we go through
certain faith stages as we develop cognitively and emotionally; and some stages,
later in life, we can choose to work through. He suggests that we go through
stages of faith during which we have the opportunity to deepen our
understanding of this concept of faith, and thus deepen or strengthen our
commitments to that which we have faith in. It doesn’t matter if you are a
Buddhist, humanist, Christian, pagan, agnostic, or atheist; these stages still
apply. These stages are progressive in the early years of life, but later in
life are more about experiences, readiness, openness, choices, and
responsibility. A person can live a deep, meaningful, and happy life at any of
the later stages of faith development—the later stages are not progressive in
the sense that you are not as spiritual as the next guy if you choose to stay
at, say, stage 4 rather than go on to stage 5. This is not a faith development
competition. The reason to explore these stages is to intentionally consider
choices about what we have faith in and how we express our faith.
From birth to maybe 18 months, the
only concept of faith a child has is based on whether their caretaker will meet
their needs—for food, touch, attention, safety. This is based more on their
attachment to their parents than anyone else. People can come out of this stage
with a basic trust or mistrust that their needs will be met and that they can
depend on others.
As the child
matures through age 6, everything is real and has power as far as the child
knows. And since the child doesn’t have a broad experience or knowledge of the
world, their imagination fills in the gaps in their understanding of how things
work; thus, magic is possible. There is a Santa Claus; if you step on a crack
you break your mother’s back. If there is an image of God, it is probably very
much like one’s parents—everything a parent does—how they care, protect, and
punish.
From age 6 to
pre-pubescence, faith and beliefs are more literal and less magical. Life is
mostly black and white. Children accept that people--parents, teachers,
preachers--have power and authority over them. Children at this age have a
strong belief in justice and in the reciprocity of the universe. God, if there
is an image of one, is anthropomorphic—like the bearded white guy in the
clouds.
As one moves into
puberty, cognitions and understandings are possible that have not been in
existence in a child’s brain before (e.g. metaphor, abstraction). There is more
questioning, breaking away from authority figures and more focus on peers and
communities, identifying with and conformity with certain groups or subgroups.
Faith is more about what people you identify with have faith in.
Now we move into
the later stages of faith development. These last three stages are based on
experiences, readiness, openness, choices, and responsibility. None of these
later stages are “bad” or “good”, they are just descriptors of how we face
life, the choices we make about our faith, and what needs our faith meets for
us. Again, it is important to remember that people can live a fulfilling, happy
life in any of the stages of faith development. There is no later stage that is
the better or best, just as the color blue is not better than the color
yellow. Some people move through
different stages, while others find a stage that fits them and they choose not
to leave it—perhaps to help them cope with an ever-changing world, perhaps to
help them feel less afraid with all the tragedies and traumas in one’s life,
perhaps to help them feel more self esteem in a world that often marginalizes
them or discounts their efforts. These are stages that people can intentionally
choose to explore, although a person might find that they need more from life
than a stage might offer, or they may need more life experience to be ready to
move through another stage, or they just might be too overwhelmed, stressed,
tired, or busy to consider one more thing in their lives.
The later stages
might begin as early as late adolescence, but can last a lifetime. In the next
stage you have settled down into one subgroup and have become somewhat of an
absolutist and a critic—believing you know the best way, critical of others who
don’t believe the way you do. There is only One Right Way, my way—some members
of the Republican Party and the Democratic Party express this kind of absolutism;
also some Theists and Atheists--there is a god, there is no such thing as a god—can
have this kind of black and white thinking; and some parents express this kind
of thinking—“The only way to raise a child is the way my parents raised me’
or “I would never raise a child the way my parents raised me.” I have it
all figured out and nobody, outside my group, can tell me otherwise. I am
either a scientific rationalist or a religious absolutist. For some Unitarian
Universalists at this stage, the Christian cross, as an example, is a symbol of
a belief system to be rejected, rather than a symbol that represents a connection
to the holy.
I have been an
absolutist. When I found Unitarian Universalism, and found humanism, I felt my
childhood beliefs—Christianity, belief in God and the Trinity—were stupid,
irrational, and possibly even destructive. And I felt the way that Thomas
Jefferson did: that the whole country would eventually become Unitarian. But
both Jefferson and I have been proved wrong on this point. And gradually my
absolutism began to fade, particularly as I began to explore Buddhism.
There are two more
stages and most people do not move into them.
The first being the stage of both/and, rather than either/or. In this
stage one can, for example, reject the Christian cross as a symbol of a
specific belief system that you reject while simultaneously accepting the cross
as a symbol of connection to the holy. This is a stage of paradoxes and
openness, a time of embracing all experiences and of being ready to be whole,
to choose to be all of who you have been and who you are, and accepting all those,
outside your skin, are. A person moving into this stage might describe themselves
as having multiple belief systems—like being a Buddhist and a Christian.
I began to move
into this stage when I attended my 20th High School Reunion. I attended Strake
Jesuit College Preparatory, a Catholic Jesuit High School. Having rejected my
Catholic upbringing long ago, whenever I attended Catholic services with my
parents or friends, I would not say the prayers or participate in the
Communion. I felt these were meaningless, tired old rituals that people did
because they didn’t take the time to question the deeper understanding of life;
they just accepted the religion of their childhood without question. But
something happened as we began the worship service at my reunion; I felt
something different. I said the “Our Father”, and it felt right in my heart—not
that it meant the same to me as it did when I was a child, but I did not have
that physical sense that this prayer was somehow wrong for me in my spiritual journey.
For some time before this experience I had been feeling that there must be more
to life than I can see, smell, taste and touch. I had wondered about a
spiritual practice. I had not changed my humanist mindset, but I chose to
embrace the universal meanings of the prayers and rituals of my Christian
upbring, despite the inherent paradoxes between my humanist beliefs and my
blossoming panentheism.
Since then, I have
tried to embrace the universal in all faiths. I am not perfect at this. I met
with some Evangelical ministers a couple of years ago and found myself
reverting to a more defensive stance internally because they seemed very
absolute in their faiths, what they believed was right, rejecting all other
beliefs; for them atheism as wrong and evil. They felt that their call was to
convert all people to their form of Christianity. My response was not wholly
productive; I made small talk, and got away from them as soon as I could. But I
also talked with friends, peers, and colleagues about my experience to process
it. I want to keep in contact with my Evangelical peers, and not let my
reactions and their absolutism get in the way of our being able to work on
projects to make this world a better place. I need to accept that we will not
resolve our different beliefs. I feel strongly that we need not believe alike
to love alike.
There is one more
stage that Fowler describes. This stage is one that very few of us will ever
choose or reach. This is a stage of a larger understandings of the needs and
justice for all humanity and all creation. This is a stage some might call
enlightenment. The self is less important than the greater good for others. In
this stage all faith positions are valued and appreciated and cherished. This
stage overcomes the paradoxes of the previous stage. The people in this stage trust
in the power of the future and in making this world heaven on earth, or at
least a much better place. Such persons are ready for fellowship with persons
at any of the other stages of faith development and from any other faith
tradition. And yet some persons in this stage die at the hands of those whom
they hope to help. Some examples of people at this stage are Martin Luther
King, Jr, Ghandi, and Mother Teresa; people who put aside their own welfare for
the greater good of humanity and creation.
Are you ready for
being truly open to paradoxes, universals, differences that carry with them the
possibility of having to work through emotional baggage—like being pushed out
of a church due to your beliefs or your sexual orientation or your reproductive
choices? Are you ready to be open to setting aside absolutes to include in your
life some things that may not always make rational sense—a language of reverence,
mystical experiences, rituals or spiritual practices? Are you ready to set
aside self-need for the greater good of all creation—maybe even putting yourself
at risk like Unitarian minister James Reeb did when he walked with Martin Luther
King, Jr. in Selma? Some people may want to explore their absolutes, pushing
against them, looking beyond them, and some may not. Some may want to explore
universals, larger understandings of meaning and purpose, and consider
re-connecting with aspects of their religious past. Which stage are you at
right now? Which stage do you want to
explore?
